When Did I Become “That Guy”?

We’ve all ridden with “that guy”…you know the one. Basically a decent enough guy, but out of shape and overweight and armed with all of reasons (or excuses) as to why this particular ride is so hard…
My derailleur is acting up, I’ve been sick lately, I haven’t ridden that much, I’m in a recovery period right now, I broke my collarbone, etc, etc….

He’s always polite, and is always apologizing for being the last one up the hill and making everyone wait….but to be honest you’re really just sick of him and wish he’d get his fat azz off the couch and on the bike more so he could save the excuses and stories.

Well, the week before last I came to a startling realization….I’m THAT GUY!!!! Yep, me….somehow over the past few months through a rigorous regimen of eating as if I ride every day while hardly ever actually doing any riding, I’ve reached a new pinnacle of fatness and out-of-shapeness….

This, combined with my first Thursday ride on the SS since I broke my collarbone back in August reduced me to the dead-freakin-last-fat-guy-up-the-hill status.

Oh sure, I had all the excuses primed and ready to go when I finally caught up to everyone at the top of the first and longest climb of the evening, and the guys were all very nice and sympathetic and actually seemed to not mind waiting on me but I know…..I could see it in their eyes…..I could tell they were all thinking it…..”Rich if you’d just put down the box of Krispy Kremes and ride once in a while we wouldn’t be standing here cold and shivering while waiting for your lardass to catch up”

The rest of the ride was more of the same….the short steep climb at the half way point, the long climb up from the stone bridge, the road back to the parking lot, every single climb of the evening ended with me arriving red-faced and on the verge of hypoxia and them all patiently waiting…politely humiliating me with their kindness and platitudes.....It was humbling to say the least.

I guess though if you want to find a silver lining….and I’m definitely a silver lining kind of guy…..the humiliation has since been used as motivation. I’m down from my 3 year record weight of a couple pounds over two hundred and I’ve managed to run or ride at least a few times a week since.  In addition, I no longer shove everything I see down my throat as if I’m riding 5 days a week, I’ve been doing my exercises and I actually feel like I may be getting back into shape.  Of course, round is a shape, just not the shape I want to see when I look in the mirror.
I’m hoping over the next couple of weeks to drop “that guy” and not see him again for the rest of the season….